Borussia Dortmund, Bayern Munich and a wild week in the Bundesliga

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How Hamburg triggered a series of managerial dominos as Bayern played a game of bones (and groans) with Hans-Wilhelm Müller-Wohlfahrt

It was: The Week That Shook German Football (RealD 3D).

First, late on Tuesday night, Bruno Labbadia was appointed manager of the bottom team, Hamburger SV. The former Kaiserslautern striker and inventor of the fist-pump goal celebration had already graced (?) the AOL/Nordbank/Imtech/Kühne-Palace/Whatever-Arena bench five years ago and the sporting director, Dietmar Beiersdorfer, had no choice but to go back to a familiar face in the club’s hour of need: HSV had run out of the German-speaking coaches that had not yet been hired at some point over the last two decades. Within a few hours, however, the new/old messiah’s wings – messiahs do have wings, don’t they? – were already clipped when Beiersdorfer involuntarily dispensed with the charade that the hot contender Thomas Tuchel had been turned down by the club the night before. It was Tuchel who had pulled out on Monday, Beiersdorfer revealed in Labbadia’s inaugural press conference Part Deux. “He was my personal favourite,” said HSV’s other sporting director, Peter Knäbel, of Labbadia. Sure. The 49-year-old (nom de guerre: “beautiful Bruno”) was fortunately not disheartened by that small indiscretion. He immediately set out to ward off relegation with a bold “seven points plan” (Bild) that allegedly included useful skills like “experience”, “authenticity” and “talking up” his own players.